Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
