Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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