woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
