Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
