I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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