Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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