this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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