At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
