Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
