Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
