I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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