i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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