She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
