never play flip cup with pint glasses
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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