Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize