***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
