In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
