i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
