You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
