I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm way too hungover for life right now
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
