sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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