I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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