"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
