Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
