Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
