I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
