Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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