absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
