What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
