The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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