well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
