I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
