Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize