I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
