from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
