Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
