and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
