Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
