Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
