chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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