haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
