Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
My hand turned me down
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
