He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
