She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
