True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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