she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
