it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize