Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize