just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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