Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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