dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
