video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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