so explain again why im purple
no
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It's never too late to be topless.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
