dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
