i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
