Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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