Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
