he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
