yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
