And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize