I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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