did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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