on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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