Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
