dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
