Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
