So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
