we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
