Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
