I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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