so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
