After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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