Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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