I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
