Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
