i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
