Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
birth control should be required to get into college
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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