coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
