i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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