At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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