piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
