I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The best revenge is premature balding
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
