all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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