i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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