Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
